I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
