Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
