There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
