I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
