You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
