Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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