Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
