i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
