would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
