just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's the barista slut.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
