worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How external is "for external use only"?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
