Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
