Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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