people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
