Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
