I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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