It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
