Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
be right there i have to get my cape
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
