We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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