question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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