Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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