Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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