Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
