New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
