I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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