cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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