is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
