I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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