i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
