I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
