The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
