You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
