she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
