It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
