That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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