We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
