you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
