i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
