After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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