Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
