We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
