i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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