Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
