those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
even my farts smell like vagina
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize