I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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