The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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