I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Randomize
