and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
