I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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