Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
