i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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